What do you know about Japanese women? At best, American guys have heard about geishas (courtesy of the Memoirs of a Geisha movie). Cinephiles might also appreciate Miyazaki’s animation praised for depicting interesting Japanese personalities. But few understand just how great Japanese women are, and I’m here to correct this gross injustice. By the end of this post, you’ll learn everything you need to know about Japanese mail order brides and have all the tools to find your true love in the land of the rising sun.
Female population of Japan | 63 million |
Best cities for dating | Tokyo, Osaka, Yokohama, Kyoto, Nagoya |
Age at first marriage | 29.7 y.o. |
Best dating site | SakuraDate |
Best Sites to Find Japanese Brides
Finding Japanese singles for serious relationships can be tricky unless you use the right international dating sites, like these three:
SakuraDate | Best profiles I’ve ever seen. Detailed bios and relationship goals, complete with dozens of professional and candid pictures. There are lots of ways to connect and overcome the time difference, including video and audio messages. Registration is free, and new members get 20 bonus credits. The first bundle is at a discount; the rest cost $0.2 per credit. |
LanaDate | A great mix of social and dating features, including personal feeds with the latest pictures from the most active daters. Excellent choice if you aren’t in a rush to settle down and want to explore the Japanese dating pool. Free registration + first-purchase discount. Rates start at $0.2 per credit. |
NaomiDate | Everything you want in a dating site and more: lovely ladies, thorough profiles, endless photos, and many ways to flirt, from email to video messages. Free registration includes bonus credits and a first-order discount. Credits start at $0.2. |
If you can’t wait to meet your Japanese bride, go ahead and sign up for one of these, but if you want to be prepared, finish this post first.
Japanese Mail Order Bride Pricing
You don’t buy Japanese brides. That’s illegal in the US, Japan, and most countries around the world.
That said, international dating comes with significant expenses, which you’ll need to add to your budget. To help you estimate how much money you’ll need, let’s go over the four major expenses:
- Dating site membership fees — from $100 per month. Services with monthly subscriptions range from $50 to $250+ per month, and you have to commit to a long-term plan to enjoy the most affordable prices. That’s why pay-as-you-go platforms like SakuraDate, LanaDate, and NaomiDate might suit you better. It takes a bit to get used to the pricing, but once you do, you’ll have full control over your spending. You can even take breaks from online dating without losing money.
- Travel expenses — from $2,500 per week. The roundtrip plane tickets may cost around $1,500 if you’re lucky. Add about $1,000 on accommodation, food, and transportation, and a week-long stay will amount to $2,500, but you’ll need extra funds to take your girlfriend out on dates and woo her with gifts.
- Visa and relocation spending — around $2,500. The cost of the nonimmigrant visa and your petition for an alien fiance is around $1,100, but your Japanese wife will also need to apply for an adjustment of status and an employment permit to build a life in the US. The filing fees for those will add about $1,400 to your expenses.
- Wedding expenses — from $300 to $33,000. The pricing differs by state, but you can usually get a license and a courthouse ceremony with witnesses under $300 in most states. However, a full-blown ceremony and reception cost around $33,000 on average.
Let’s add up these numbers and estimate the overall cost of finding and marrying a Japanese bride:
Expense | Price | Included | Cost |
Dating site membership fees | $100/month | 6 to 12 months | $600 to $1,200 |
Travel expenses | $2,500/week | 2 week-long trips | $5,000 |
Visa filing fees | $2,500 | Forms, medical exams, etc. | $2,500 |
Wedding expenses | $200 to $33,000 | Ceremony and reception | $300 to $33,000 |
Total | $8,400 to $41,800 |
Although the total might seem excessive, remember you’d spend no less on dating a local girl. After all, research shows Americans spend around $2,300 on dates every year.
Additional Factors Affecting Japanese Mail Order Bride Cost
If your bride wants traditional wedding attire, it will inevitably drive up the cost.
The formal all-white Shiromuku costs thousands of dollars, and even renting one will cost over $1,000. Iro Uchikake is more colorful but is equally expensive. And if you want to match your bride and go for a male haori hakama, renting will add another $500 to your wedding budget.
How to Save Money
To keep the cost of Japanese dating manageable, use these tips:
- Make the most of dating site discounts and bonuses. SakuraDate and LanaDate offer 20 free credits and 70% off your first order. You can also catch seasonal discounts if you’re lucky.
- Go for small but meaningful gifts. Japanese women appreciate romantic gestures but may feel uncomfortable with you spending too much. Even something as simple as a single rose can make them swoon.
- Delay the wedding reception. Get a marriage license and a courthouse ceremony for under $300, but postpone the party to avoid overpaying for urgency to meet the K-1 visa requirements.
You may even convince your bride to cancel the reception and spend the money you save on a honeymoon.
Why Do Japanese Women Look for Foreign Husbands?
I talked to dozens of Japanese ladies to understand what drives them to look for love abroad, and these are the three most common sentiments I encountered:
Liu, 31
“I’m tired of men expecting me to give up my modeling career to be a stay-at-home wife even if they cannot support themselves, let alone a family. I hope to find a decisive man who knows how to treat a woman right but who’d also be willing to let me express my creativity through my professional exploits.”
Tran, 36
“It’s hard to find dates for me. Most of my friends are already married to their school sweethearts, and I’m too shy to go out and meet guys in bars or clubs. Besides, many think I’m past my prime and too old to marry. That’s why I decided to try my luck with international dating. And I already feel so much more confident and comfortable in my own skin.”
Wenyu, 38
“My life as a single mother of two is anything but easy, but I’ve learned to enjoy every peaceful and exciting moment. Most guys I tried dating shy away from responsibility and want nothing but a night of fun. For me, that’s not enough, so I’m hoping to find someone abroad who would care for my children as much as for me.”
Japanese Mail Order Bride Statistics
If you think Japanese brides are too exotic, think again! Here’s hard data proving American-Japanese marriages are more common than you think:
- Japanese brides are popular among Americans. In 2023, the US government issued 237 K-1 fiance visas to Japanese singles.
- Many Japanese women love Americans. They are second (16.7%) only to Koreans (25.7%) in the number of international marriages with foreign husbands in Japan.
- The age gap is almost non-existent in international marriages. The average age of Japanese brides is 31.9, and 32.8 for foreign grooms. In contrast, Japanese men marry foreign women 10+ years younger.
- International marriage isn’t for everyone. Only around 5% of marriages in Japan are with a foreign partner. And only 20% of those include a Japanese woman with a foreign groom (7,646 out of 34,393 international marriages).
Fun fact: Migrants use fake marriages to get Japanese residency, just like in the US, so the risk of running into scammers among Japanese singles is minimal.
How to Find Japanese Bride: Best Ways to Find Foreign Brides
There are only two ways to meet potential Japanese brides: online or by visiting Japan and exploring the local dating scene. Let’s start with the latter, as many guys feel more comfortable with good old-fashioned face-to-face dates.
Here’s what you need to ask yourself when planning a foray into Japanese dating:
- How long can you stay in Japan? Unless you’re incredibly lucky, you won’t meet your future bride the moment you get off the plane. The longer your trip, the more singles you’ll meet. And the more time you’ll have to develop your relationship. Ideally, you want to stay for at least a month.
- How good is your Japanese? Sure, most Japanese people study English at school, but few can support a conversation. You’ll need to find a way to get around and explain yourself when your partner doesn’t understand 100% of what you’re saying.
- Can you afford it? A long-term stay in Japan can be pretty costly, and you’ll likely be surprised by cramped living conditions and the lack of personal space. Large cities like Tokyo are more expensive, but they also offer the liveliest dating scenes and a more tolerant attitude toward outsiders.
Finally, you should remember that most women believe tourists are only interested in casual flings. Your actions should prove you’re serious about settling down if you want a long-term relationship.
Where to Meet Japanese Singles
Suppose you’re set on meeting Japanese girls on their home turf; where do you go once you land in Tokyo? Here are a few places that worked for me:
- Standing bars and cafes. Places like The Hub may not have the best reputation, but unlike any place with seating, they promote mingling and meet-cutes, so make sure you give them a try.
- Shinjuku and Roppongi bars. You’ll need to learn to tell respectable establishments from seedy places, but once you do, you will have no shortage of willing Japanese singles to chat up.
- Coffee shops. Although tea is more of a national drink, Japanese women who prefer coffee are also more open to Western ideas and influences. Logically, coffee shop (like Kaldi Coffee Farm) regulars should also be more willing to talk to (and date) foreigners.
Whichever place you choose to start your Japanese dating journey, do some online reconnaissance first. If you have at least a few contacts to meet in Japan, your trip will be much more fruitful.
Step-By-Step Instruction: How to Get Japanese Mail Order Bride Online
Considering how awkward most Japanese feel going out on dates, you’d think online dating would be more popular, but only around 6.3% of the population uses dating apps and sites. Of course, they are also active on social media and online gaming platforms, which let singles mingle and find new acquaintances and dates.
The language barrier is the biggest issue in Japanese dating. Even with online translation, you’ll have trouble navigating local dating apps. Besides, most singles registered on those apps seek local matches, not long-distance relationships.
Unlike mainstream apps, niche dating sites such as SakuraDate, LanaDate, and NaomiDate attract singles interested in international dating. Most members know at least a little English. Moreover, they welcome advances from foreigners, and most want to settle down. This makes connections much easier and faster.
Here’s how international relationships on niche sites work:
- Choose the right dating site and register a dating account.
- Fill out your profile with personal details and quality photos.
- Browse potential matches using search filters and swiping.
- Start a list of favorites to keep track of the best matches.
- Contact the ladies to gauge your compatibility and chemistry.
- Develop a long-distance relationship until your first IRL date.
Jack May:
“Most dating profiles have limited personal info, so it’s a good idea to introduce yourself and learn more about potential matches early on so as not to waste your time. Mail is the best way to do it. Write out your main strengths and weaknesses, explain your relationship goals, and keep this draft at hand. Add a list of personalized questions for every girl you like and send it out with a couple of additional pictures.
The first email is typically cheaper on international dating sites, so you’ll kill two birds with one stone—gauge mutual compatibility and interest and save your time and money. It’s an especially effective trick for Asian dating since it’s always hard to find time for live chat that would suit both of you, considering the 12-hour time difference.”
Pros & Cons of Searching for a Japanese Bride Online & Offline
Consider these factors before choosing the best way to look for a Japanese bride.
Online dating | Offline dating |
Pros | |
Instant connections with thousands of singles | Face-to-face meetings help gauge chemistry and compatibility |
Clear relationship expectations | IRL dates progress the relationship faster |
Long-distance relationships fit into any schedule | You get first-hand experience with Japanese culture before bringing it into your life |
Cons | |
Photo filters and editing obscure real looks | Women don’t take relationships with tourists seriously |
Scam risks are higher on international dating sites | Instant immersion into Japanese culture is a challenge |
Most private communication features are paid | Expensive plane tickets and stays in Japan |
Is It Legal to Have a Japanese Mail Order Bride?
Japan and the US recognize international marriages between their citizens. The marriage laws may be a bit different, but the basic rules apply: bride and groom should not be related, should be free from other marriages, and be able to give consent. When I married my Ukrainian bride, she came to the US on a K-1 visa, and you can do the same, but you can also formalize your relationship on Japanese soil and get it recognized in the US.
To stay on the right side of the law, make sure to choose reputable and legal mail order bride services, like SakuraDate, LanaDate, or NaomiDate. They follow local regulations and create a safe and comfortable environment for developing your long-distance relationship.
Hugh B. Prescott:
“I fell in love with LanaDate right after signup. Even without credits, I can explore it for hours every day and scroll through endless photos of gorgeous ladies. And when I finally get enough courage to reach out, most are happy to flirt back. And it’s always good to know it’s a safe place, vetted by Jack.”
Success Stories
“I was exploring online dating options after my divorce was finalized, and I stumbled across Jack’s talk on international dating. I didn’t think much of it but decided to try SakuraDate and see what all the fuss was about. I lurked around for a few weeks until Zhang’s message caught my eye. We clicked instantly, and I knew I was a goner when I went researching flights to Tokyo after one of our chats!
The rest is history. We’ve just celebrated our second anniversary, and I still can’t believe my luck. I would have never considered international dating, but now I can’t believe anyone would knowingly limit their options to locals!”
“When I signed up for an LanaDate account, I didn’t think that in two years, I’d be married to the cutest and most caring person in the world. I always tell Sun that her name is spot-on; she’s so warm and light, and I can’t imagine my life without her.
She was one of dozens of Asian girls I tried chatting up, but Sun was the only one to stick with me after the first few awkward messages. She always appreciated my dry sense of humor, and our musical tastes are surprisingly alike… It took us a year to finally meet in person and another year to jump through the hoops of the legal process, but we’re together at last and ready to take on the world as a family.”
Real-Life Experience: Meeting Singles in Japan
Remember, Japan is an archipelago, and it’s by no means homogenous. Regional customs can make a huge difference, and no place is quite like Tokyo. So always do your research before braving the cross-Pacific flight.
Here’s my take on the Japanese dating scene based on my brief stint in Tokyo:
- Everyone wants a free English lesson. If locals hear you speak English, they’ll flock to you to test their skills. It can be fun if you manage to lure in single ladies, but the only way to draw the right conversation partners is to frequent places where they congregate, like university campuses.
- Personal grooming and manners mean more than good looks. It’s not hard to get dates with Japanese girls, but they have high standards. They put a lot of effort into their looks and want their partners to match. You don’t need a six-pack or a suit and tie, but neatly pressed clothes, combed hair, and looking generally put together will win you instant extra points. I’ve personally tested it, and it works like a charm!
- Casual dates and flings are rare. Japanese culture remains conservative and somewhat old-fashioned. Women expect a confession and a formal request to date before they embark on relationships. That’s why Japanese youngsters usually hang out in groups. They even go on group dates to keep the one-on-one interactions less awkward.
- Dates can last the whole day. The Japanese have mastered the art of weekend getaway without leaving town. Young couples meet up in the morning and spend the entire day together, walking through parks, sharing lunch and dinner, and going to the movies—all in one day. I feel like it’s the result of their workaholic culture that doesn’t leave much time for weeknight dates.
- Romantic gestures are expected and appreciated. Although most Japanese women are highly pragmatic, most are closet romantics. They don’t need serenades but small gestures of affection, like bringing chocolates on Valentine’s Day or White Day, gifting small bouquets, or using affectionate nicknames, which are common in new and established relationships.
This is not an exhaustive guide on Japanese dating, but these tips should help you navigate the Japanese dating scene and start a relationship. Its long-term success will depend on your flexibility and communication skills.
How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship With a Japanese Mail Order Bride Work?
Relationships are hard, and international relationships are doubly so. No one can guide you through the minefield of international dating, but these tips should help you early on while you learn more about Japanese dating:
Do | Don’t |
Ask your girlfriend about her hometown or neighborhood | Try to fill the silence in the conversation; it may seem impolite |
Start your chats or video calls on time, and apologize if you’re running late | Boast or give out excessive compliments; they won’t be received well |
Keep the conversations calm and harmonious, avoiding arguments and conflict | Avoid references to oversexualized Asian stereotypes, including those from anime and manga |
Research Japanese culture and implicit norms to avoid giving offense | Bring up historical or political topics related to WWII |
How to Invite Your Japanese Bride to the US?
Bringing your Japanese bride (or wife) to the States is a lengthy and often painful process that can take anywhere from a few months to over three years. To speed things up, learn everything there is to know about each step of the legal process, including:
Bringing your Japanese bride into the US is the least romantic part of your relationship, but it is pretty streamlined, especially if you stick to the following algorithm:
- Filing the Petition for Alien Fiance (Form I-129F) alongside your relationship evidence and financial statements proving you can support your bride until she finds a job
- The nonimmigrant visa application process (Form DS-160) which may include a medical exam and vaccinations.
- Your bride’s relocation and the shipping of her belongings.
- Getting married within 90 days of your bride’s arrival in the US.
- Filing adjustment of status (Form I-485) and employment authorization (Form I-765) paperwork.
You’ll find more info on the process on US Citizenship and Immigration Services or the
Bureau of Consular Affairs websites.
Japanese Mail Order Bride Scam
Even legitimate international dating sites are not free from scam risks, despite their best efforts. To avoid common scam attempts, remember never to send money to strangers, and keep your credit card details and intimate photos to yourself. Avoid clicking on suspicious links, and don’t trust unrealistic investment offers.
Expert’s Take
Japanese brides were all the rage in the early 20th century before falling out of grace in the wake of WWII, only to regain their popularity in the 2000s. You don’t want to miss out on the trend this time. It’s a good thing international dating platforms help overcome most challenges, from time differences to language barriers. But you still need to be brave enough to take the first step and set up a dating account. So what’s stopping you?


